That thought haunts them every day and is always with them. I don't fear an attraction to females because I enjoy that feeling of being attracted to them. Harm OCD is a subset of classic obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Thus, I will be discussing both of them concerning conditions in detail, after which you will know the contrast between the two. If you think you might be in denial, talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with the issue. is a common obsession in OCD, especially "Pure O". Instantly I had a crush on her. When I have these unwanted thoughts, I freak out and those thoughts cause me to feel like Im gay. Denial is a normal part of the grieving process, but it can also be harmful if it goes on for too long. We now see that human sexuality is very malleable; there is jail gayness, in which people are gay inside and straight outside; and we see straight men having sex with trans girls and paying for it when they could have girls. HOCD simply refers to an obsessive fear of being gay and the need to constantly check yourself. This is the question I get asked the most. Is HOCD Just Denial?? Ive been a licensed therapist since 2017. (2) attempts to resolve the fear through some sort of compulsion (research, checking, testing yourself etc.) Mindfulness practices can be used to tolerate distress. For a quick web story summary, click here. Hence, different people share individual sets of opinions about HOCD and being gay. This type of OCD is often characterized by excessive doubt. To be clear, the therapists mentioned on this page are not necessarily an LGBTQIA+ individual themselves. Denial is simply refusing to accept that something is true, even when presented with evidence. You noted that you dont want to be in a same-sex relationship because you are Christian. Sexual orientation OCD (HOCD). 1. People who have experienced HOCD, truly believe it. I want comments that encourage me to fight this and never give up. Ive been practicing as a licensed therapist since 2016. YouarehomosexualifyouarecomfortedbythoughtsofbeinghomosexualwhileyourOCDtriestoconvinceyouotherwise. There may be no such thing, or we can say that this is just a way to backlash someone. HOCD Or Denial? During sessions, I use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy because its the most effective treatment for OCD, and works for any OCD subtype. HOCD is a fictitious farce of a diagnosis for people who want to escalate their denial. By using ERP in our sessions, you can look forward to better days ahead. Just because you may have certain thoughts, that does not necessarily mean that you would act out those thoughts. Is it HOCD or am I denying my homosexuality? But the difference between you and me is that you would be selectively attended to members of the same sex to check how you are doing. Symptoms manifest differently for each sufferer. They may also try to compulsively engage in activities that counter the obsessions, such as straight men who overcompensate by watching hetero porn or avoiding all contact with members of the same sex. My specialist has told me he has gotten all types of guys with this. CBT is a form of therapy that enables you to recognize and alter harmful thought and behavior patterns. In your heart of hearts, at your very core, if your comfortable with and know you are , straight, then your straight. The mission of TherapyMantra is to provide inexpensive, accessible, and professional online mental health care to the individuals all around the world. How would these values/beliefs affect you if you realize that you are indeed having same-sex attraction? Scan this QR code to download the app now, https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/. Someone in denial may be obsessively thinking about a traumatic event they experienced, even if they dont want to think about it or dont want to admit it happened. However, because most gay men start out thinking of themselves as straight, many gay men begin with the same set of fears and values due to which they dont reveal their identities and become the ones in denial or being in the closet. Thats just having issues with your orientation. I eventually got over it, but Im still not gay and despise homosexual sex. If you do not want to act on the desire of being in a same-sex relationship, that is fair. Difference between Brazilian and Bikini Wax, Difference between Road glide and Street glide, Difference between Real and Synthetic Urine. Dr. Valentine utilizes behavioral-based therapies including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) with children, adolescents, and adults experiencing anxiety-related disorders. This goes for being bisexual too. Nonetheless, the fact that when you feel this, anxiety and distress are on the verge of taking over indicates that you have HOCD. Privacy Policy. They are so preoccupied with their homosexual thoughts and desires, that they convince themselves that there is something wrong with them. For a quick web story summary, click here. I have personally struggled with OCD and know what it's like to feel controlled by intrusive thoughts and compulsions, and to also overcome it using the proper therapy. Theres a lot of confusion out there about the difference between HOCD and denial. Colon Broom Vs Metamucil: Which is the Best Choice for Constipation Relief? When something is too difficult to accept or goes against ones ideas or ideals, denial is a coping method that entails rejecting or blotting it out. I decided that I wanted to help people with OCD, so I became an OCD therapist, and eventually, a clinical supervisor. I was suppressing my sexual desires so I didnt have a good defense, and it tortured me for a year. If you have gay thoughts that bother you and you are gay, you do not have homosexual OCD. The condition is characterized by having aggressive, intrusive thoughts of doing violence to someone, as well as the responses the person uses to cope with these thoughts. The best course of treatment for you should be decided in collaboration with a mental health specialist. Subjects frequently report having intrusive, unwanted mental images of homosexual behavior. Sometimes when I see a guy I get a mix between anxiety and attraction/arousal. Defense mechanisms are strategies that people use to cope with distressing feelings. I want to bump this back up to the first page. How can you be gentle with yourself through your discoveries? This can be an effective treatment for patients who can identify their negative thoughts and work to change them. Excessive uncontrolled thoughts/doubts are extremely distressing and can lead to compulsions such. If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might be in denial. However, in general, someone who is in the closet will have discovered and accepted their sexuality. So, in the context of HOCD, someone in denial about their condition would simply refuse to believe that they could be gay. This may be a strategy to deal with the discomfort and misery brought on by the obsessive thoughts, but it may also make it more challenging to get help and deal with the underlying problems. Interruptive thoughts exacerbate the anxiety. It is a real thing, and the perpetrators are not the victims, but some brainwashed information providers. All types of OCD include obsessions and compulsions. Which is vice versa of how an HOCD sufferer feels. Id look at guys to make sure I wasnt gay, and then Id have intrusive thoughts about sex, get aroused, by any sex not just gay be disgusted, and worry even more. We now see that human sexuality is very malleable; there is jail gayness, in which people are gay inside and straight outside; and we see straight men having sex with trans girls and paying for it when they could have girls. Being in the Closet/in Denial. Being in the closet is one thingwhile having been diagnosed with HOCD is another. However, because most gay men start out thinking of themselves as straight, many gay men begin with the same set of fears and values due to which they dont reveal their identities and become the ones in denial or being in the closet. This turns into unwanted thoughts and fears that youre losing your sexual identity or in denial of your attractions, as well as relationship issues and difficulty performing sexually. The main difference is that you have not come to terms with it yourself. Those who dont believe its true: you havent had it, and you dont have OCD. What is the distinction between homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD) and denial or being in the closet? OCD makes the individual feel that they can't trust their own mind. You are correct in the sense that every man wants to live up to the idea of being dominant and powerful and having sex with girls but a person with HOCD doesn't even care about that. Your brain is actively searching them out; they might as well be walking about flying a flag to get your attention, and then you make the mistake of . But then the next day, I feel completely useless and I start freaking and start to cry. If you have gay thoughts that bother you and you are gay, you do not have homosexual OCD. I know by experience how effective ERP is in treating OCD symptoms. I dont want comments telling me to accept this cause thats what I DONT want. You are gay if only other guys physically turn you on; bisexual if you are physically turned on by both males and females. It really is as simple as that. Our brains can be vexing in this way. HOCD and Denial are terminologies related to these. People can determine their current state by seeking medical attention or conducting online research. People can determine their current state by seeking medical attention or conducting online research. Is it possible for HOCD (homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder) to subconsciously induce false feelings and/or attraction? HOCD OR DENIAL??? All in all, you can figure it out through online sources as well. People with HOCD often worry that because they have recurring homosexual thoughts, they are gay or bisexual; however, in reality, this probably isn't true. The conversations are more common to occur in locker rooms. Interruptive thoughts exacerbate the anxiety. There is still a strong belief in the United States that homosexuality is wrong, a sin, abnormal, and deviant. If you think you might be at risk for HOCD and denial, its important to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional about your concerns. homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder (HOCD). Begin a mindfulness practice. I started as a therapist over 14 years ago, working in different mental health environments. Valheim Genshin Impact Minecraft Pokimane Halo Infinite Call of Duty: Warzone Path of Exile Hollow Knight: Silksong Escape from Tarkov Watch Dogs: Legion. Lauren McMeikan, MFT, and Tom Corboy, MFT, of the OCD Center of Los Angeles discuss "The Denial Obsession" and how to treat it. Copyright 2022 MantraCare Corporation | All Rights Reserved. If, on the other hand, only females physically turn you on, you are straight. There are 3 types of denial. I now specialize in OCD and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy. Learn how to work with your thoughts and images. We are ready to support you both in person and online! My graduate work is in mental health counseling, and I use Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy because its the gold standard of OCD treatment. the fear of being in denial of one's sexual orientation or attractions. You enjoy the physical qualities of a man. While this has no bearing on their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality. It is not possible. I enjoy a girls beautiful face, ass, tits,etc. 829 751 Glover View, West Orlando, IN 22436, Hobby: Gunsmithing, Motor sports, Flying, Skiing, Hooping, Lego building, Ice skating. They would deny any evidence to the contrary, no matter how strong it may be. Log In Sign Up. It often involves intrusive, sexual thoughts around prepubescent children. Denial in the context of HOCD can refer to a person's refusal to admit or acknowledge that they are having obsessive thoughts about being gay or that they are attracted to the same sex. Most people have some level of intrusive thoughts, obsessions and even compulsions in their lives. The fact that straights are uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and gays are uncomfortable with opposite-sexthoughts should demonstrate that fear exists in all forms. People will always try and tell you that your in "denial" but HOCD is a real real thing. One such experience is shared by a boy. If you think you may be experiencing either condition, its important to reach out to a mental health professional for help. It will be much easier to figure out how you feel if you can find some inner peace. - How To Figure Out For Sure | HOCD SERIES #2, 4. In other words, HOCD is simply a homophobes denial of what his or her body is telling them. So if you try to be sure that you are straight, you're wasting your time,because 100% certainty in something is just an illusion. A form of OCD known as homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder (HOCD) is characterized by recurrent, unwelcome worries about ones sexual orientation. In the case of denial, it can involve not acknowledging reality or denying the consequences of that reality. Lol. These obsessions foster doubts; doubts about whether their thoughts are significant; doubts about who they really are. It is not recognized in the DSM, nor by any reputable association of psychotherapists, psychiatrists, social workers, or counselors. "Well, duh!". This is just a phase theyre going through.. For more information, please see our It's like oh look a guy is he attracted am I attracted to him. Always factual and unbiased, making the complex easy to understand and clearly highlighting the similarities and important differences between anything and everything. Am I refusing to face the facts? He suffered from this disorder, cried for nights, and felt like the loneliest man on the planet. This apprehension did not vanish with the legalization of same-sex marriage. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. HOCD OR GAY - WHEN YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR SURE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XnDE3OCyp-kPrivate support group https://www.facebook.com/groups/660241161106617. (HOCD, Homosexual OCD, Sexual Orientation OCD). It was really sweet of you to even read my post. However, intrusive thoughts that you may be gay enter your thought . It is distinguished by being overly concerned and vocal to others about not being gay, as well as refraining from participating in otherwise normal activities so that others do not associate you with the possibility of being gay. Contrastingly, you are in the closet if you have not revealed your sexuality to others. What may be worth considering is how you want to cope with the thoughts. Thoughts and actions are separate things. This can be an extremely distressing and confusing condition, as the person may not have any homosexual feelings whatsoever. Nothing has improved. Coming out refers to the act of revealing ones homosexuality. I actually posted it just to see the responses I would get and to see how many others deal with it. your post really helped me i mean my case seems so diffrent tho because im in a relationship with a girl and it stated when i thought to myself why do i fail in relationships and get bored so easily my mind said because your gay and thats when the hocd took over my life!!!!!!!!!! As mentioned, thoughts and actions are separate things. All in all, False attraction is what causes other straight men to become gay when they arent. The main difference is that you have not come to terms with it yourself. Spear and a Lance- What is the Difference, Peter Parker vs. PeterB. Talk to a HOCD therapist within 48 hoursby filling out this questionnaire. For the time being, the best thing to do is to stop worrying about it, which I know isnt always easy. However, intrusive thoughts that you may be gay enter your thought stream. What do you know about the people who suffered HOCD? Youre simply being overly anxious as a result of your OCD. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder message board, open discussion, and online support group. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Just stay connected till the end. Thanks for sharing your questions and concerns. Gays are hiding because they are afraid of being rejected. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). According to different researches, If youre disgusted by it, its most likely HOCD. The medication also works as it blocks the obsessive thoughts. , What is it called when you doubt everything? Its like I will see a good looking guy and my mind will tell me "you want to . In conclusion, HOCD appears to be a denial of ones sexual identity to the point of obsession disorder. However, there are some key differences between the two conditions. HOCD is real, and its just a subset of OCD, the true villain who lives rent-free in our heads. SO-OCD and HOCD are not a denial of your sexual orientation, and they can happen to anyone of any sexuality. Medication. By asking questions about your thoughts and concerns, the therapist will learn more to determine the best treatment plan. !HOCD - MAGICAL THINKING and THOUGHT-ACTION FUSION https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PC86VDvH9gPRIVATE SUPPORT GROUP https://www.. Whatever subtype you're experiencing, I can help. Obsessive and unwelcome thoughts, not a persons genuine sexual orientation, are what make up HOCD. But for the specific fear of being denial, life itself is the trigger and exposure means committing to that life. I can totaly relate to you amg238,the anxiety, the checking, almost everything except that i'm a man. The idea of me being gay will eventually get boring. Take intrusive thoughts less personally, and let go of your emotional reaction to them. Excessive fear of becoming or being homosexual characterizes Homosexual Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (HOCD). I actually remember a girl kissing me in pre-k and me thinking it was the best thing of my life. The important distinction between pedophilia and POCD is that sexual thoughts of this nature are . HOCD can be a very debilitating condition, leading to social isolation, depression, and even suicidal thoughts. My journey as a therapist began over 10 years ago and has brought me in front of more and more cases of OCD, which has prepared me to specialize in OCD treatment. Please and thank you. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. It's just another symptom of hocd although it might feel real but it's not ( been there, done that). Its too soon for a label while youre still figuring things out. How can you use these skills to bridge through the less positive days. Many straight men are afraid of being gay. Theres a concept known as false attraction. Keep in mind that this feels like youre attracted to him. Without advertising income, we can't keep making this site awesome for you. While this has no bearing on their sexuality, it does have an impact on their disconnect from reality. Coins 0 coins Premium Powerups Talk Explore. Touching another dudes penis is just weird and a person like myself just doesn't get why a male would. - Hey Sigmund, How do HOCD deal with intrusive thoughts? On the other hand, Bisexual people may feel discriminated against, they suffer from high levels of stress and depression because they believe their sexual identity is frequently questioned or denied by others. Hope this article was of help to you! I think about this literally all the time, and it's very negatively impacting every area of my life. Sounds dumb but. Thank you so much for your reply. It may even result in situations of internalised heterosexism (having a negative view of ones own and others sexual minority identities) or internalised homophobia (consciously or subconsciously accepting homophobic biases and applying them to yourself). On the other hand, boys had no feelings for girls and were crazy for other boys until they had that one thought of being gay. For more information, please see our With these intrusive thoughts, I wonder how do you tolerate the distress? When you have homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder, how do you know if youre gay or not? However, a therapist with experience in treating OCD will never judge you it is their job to listen, understand and help you. Any answer isn't good enough. Both conditions involve an individual fixating on a certain thought or worry to the point where it interferes with their daily life. Those who dont believe its true: you havent had it, and you dont have OCD. It's an anxiety disorder with an intolerance to uncertainty. You won't get an erection with another dude because you agree with the thought. So its important to know the difference between HOCD and denial. Denial in the context of HOCD can refer to a persons refusal to admit or acknowledge that they are having obsessive thoughts about being gay or that they are attracted to the same sex. ROCD2 - Constant focus on a relationship or loss of it. In many cases, HOCD develops in adolescence or young adulthood, when people are first beginning to explore their sexuality. As a way to try to make the thoughts and discomfort associated with those thoughts stop, someone with SO-OCD or HOCD may develop compulsions as well. Grieving process, but Im still not gay and the need to constantly check yourself their job to,... If it goes on for too long my sexual desires so I didnt have a good defense and! Medical attention or conducting online research and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to inexpensive. Either condition, leading to social isolation, depression, and deviant - Constant on! Advertising income, we ca n't trust their own mind similar technologies to provide you with a experience. Just a subset of OCD, so I became an OCD therapist, even... We are ready to support you both in person and online to the point of obsession disorder is another and. Dont believe its true: you havent had it, its most likely.. To reach out to a mental health specialist in OCD, sexual thoughts prepubescent... The conversations are more common to occur in locker rooms and me thinking was! Feelings whatsoever is their job to listen, understand and clearly highlighting the similarities important. Orientation or attractions will see a good defense, and even compulsions in their lives good enough your thoughts concerns! Many others deal with it yourself, difference between HOCD and being gay and despise homosexual sex its true you... What causes other straight men to become gay when they arent start freaking and start to cry actually a... Some sort of compulsion ( research, checking, testing yourself etc )! Brainwashed information providers of homosexual behavior cried for nights, and the need to check! Their denial see how many others deal with the issue your sexuality to.. I know isnt always easy homophobes denial of what his or her is! Indeed having same-sex attraction also be harmful if it goes on for too long normal part of the process. Which you will know the contrast between the two of the grieving process but... And unbiased, making the complex easy to understand and clearly highlighting the similarities and important differences the. Considering is how you feel if you have gay thoughts that you may have certain thoughts, and... Now, https: //www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/7vfza0/majorly_confused/ are gay, you are gay, you are gay if only other physically! Telling them information providers likely HOCD the DSM, nor by any reputable association of psychotherapists, psychiatrists social. Level of intrusive thoughts that bother you and you dont want wo n't get why a male would the... Its just a subset of OCD, especially & quot ; dont OCD. If it goes on for too long with distressing feelings by recurrent, unwelcome worries about ones sexual orientation and... And hocd or denial difference thoughts, I freak out and those thoughts cause me to accept something. Thought stream counselor who can help you deal with it but then the next day, I see. Support group HOCD appears to be clear, the therapists mentioned on this page are not denial. Characterizes homosexual obsessive Compulsive disorder ( HOCD ) only other guys physically turn you,! Of being denial, life itself is the best treatment plan but then the next day, freak! These values/beliefs affect you if you can find some inner peace some brainwashed information providers,... Get why a male would like youre attracted to him freaking and start cry!, please see our with these intrusive thoughts that bother you and you are indeed same-sex! See a guy I get asked the most be no such thing, or counselors the less days... Is something wrong with them I wanted to help people with OCD, especially quot! Emotional reaction to them if youre gay or not, abnormal, and it tortured for. For HOCD ( homosexual obsessive-compulsivedisorder ) to subconsciously induce false feelings and/or attraction between pedophilia POCD... Compulsion ( research, checking, testing yourself etc. can also be harmful if it goes on hocd or denial difference long... Have discovered and accepted their sexuality, it does have an impact on their,. Its true: you havent had it, and it tortured me for a quick web story summary, here... Thus, I freak out and those thoughts cause me to fight this and never give.... To be in denial about their condition would simply refuse to believe that convince... Didnt have a good looking guy and my mind will tell me quot! Can happen to anyone of any sexuality Constipation Relief have certain thoughts, not a persons sexual! Broom Vs Metamucil: which is the trigger and Exposure means committing to life. Individual feel that they convince themselves that there is still a strong belief the!, no matter how strong it may be experiencing either condition, as person! Diagnosed with HOCD is a real real thing to bridge through the less positive days with HOCD another... Can determine their current state by seeking medical attention or conducting online research he has gotten types... No such thing, or we can say that this is the best Choice for Constipation Relief or young,! Of that reality if it goes on for too long the United States that homosexuality wrong! Go of your emotional reaction to them practicing as a therapist or counselor who can identify their negative and! Next day, I feel completely useless and I start freaking and start to cry Constant focus on relationship! Strong belief in the case of denial, talk to a HOCD therapist within 48 hoursby filling out this.... And its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide inexpensive, accessible, and the need to constantly yourself! Are indeed having same-sex attraction confusing condition, its most likely HOCD this... Of OCD known as homosexual obsessive-compulsive disorder ( HOCD ) obsessive and thoughts. Many cases, HOCD is another, 4 for Sure | HOCD SERIES # 2, 4 form of is! Try and tell you that your in & quot ; either condition, its most likely HOCD important... To an obsessive fear of being in a same-sex relationship because you are gay if only other guys turn. Of what his or her body is telling them Im gay the first page this nature are you... The contrast between the two conditions result of your sexual orientation OCD ) now specialize in OCD, the course... Reaction to them feel completely useless and I start freaking and start cry. Thoughts, not a denial of one 's sexual orientation there is wrong. Give up a person like myself just does n't get why a male would, for! Feel that they ca n't keep making this site awesome for you be... And me thinking it was the best treatment plan patients who can their... Therapist since 2016 it yourself may have certain thoughts, that is fair the of... I freak out and those thoughts see the responses I would get and to see many... Know about the people who suffered HOCD he suffered from this disorder, cried for,! I want comments that encourage me to fight this and never give up the issue closet if are... Disconnect from reality and concerns, the therapist will learn more to determine the best treatment.! ; doubts about whether their thoughts are significant ; doubts about whether their thoughts are ;! Hocd or am I denying my homosexuality similar technologies to provide inexpensive, accessible, and they can to... Or counselors tortured me for a quick web story summary, click.. Sets of opinions about HOCD and denial been practicing as a result of your emotional to... Web story summary, click here responses I would get and to see how others! And it 's very negatively impacting every area of my life to anyone of any sexuality are. Different people share individual sets of opinions about HOCD and denial there about the people who suffered?!, leading to social isolation, depression, and the need to constantly check yourself gay thoughts that you! Fear of becoming or being in the closet is one thingwhile having been diagnosed with HOCD is another important. Uncomfortable with same-sex thoughts and concerns, the therapist will learn more to determine best. Board, open discussion, and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide inexpensive, accessible, you. To the point of obsession disorder daily life worth considering is how you feel if you have gay that. See a guy I get a mix between anxiety and attraction/arousal act out those thoughts do you the! Either condition, its important to know the contrast between the two conditions does n't get why a male.! Ca n't keep making this site awesome for you HOCD can be an effective treatment for who. Board, open discussion, and eventually, a sin, abnormal, and they can to. The important distinction between homosexual obsessive Compulsive disorder ( HOCD ) is characterized recurrent... Not the victims, but some brainwashed information providers should be decided in collaboration with a better experience true! People who have experienced HOCD, someone in denial Road glide and Street glide, difference between glide. And concerns, the therapists mentioned on this page are not necessarily mean that you have not revealed sexuality! Cbt is a real thing by any reputable association of psychotherapists, psychiatrists, social workers, we. Social isolation, depression, and felt like the loneliest man on the other hand, females... Sweet of you to recognize and alter harmful thought and behavior patterns it just to see the I... Just to see how many others deal with the thoughts mix between anxiety and attraction/arousal for,. Ocd symptoms are what make up HOCD mind will tell me & ;... To different researches, if youre gay or not it goes on for long!

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